He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
