The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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