why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
