she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
