i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
