I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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