I wish I only lived at night.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Randomize
