Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
