One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
what is it with giant penises always finding me
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
