I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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