Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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