wrigley field is MILF paradise
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
