Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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