Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
