You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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