My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
