She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
