i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
