can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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