I swear god or herbie drove my car home
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
