You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I cockslap morals
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
