from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
My ass is underappreciated
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
