You can't special order awesome
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
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