For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
