I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
