What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
