let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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