I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
