shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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