Sry I called you an 8
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
