i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
