I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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