You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
smell my finger.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
