I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Drake has all the answers
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
