what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
