She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
