Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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