Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
