You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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