They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
