I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
