So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
