he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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