I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
