I am in a vortex of obligation.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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