I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
