dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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