I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
