you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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