the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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